Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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