Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
