I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
dude. I can hear the air.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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