All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize