I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
