Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The beer is more important than you right now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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