She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
