Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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