Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
