I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
