I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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