this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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