Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
