just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
