Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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