I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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