I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize