Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
try to milk me bitch
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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