just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
