Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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