Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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