I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
