i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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