Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
