New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
