Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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