Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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