fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
