i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
