Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
