a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
