WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
