I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
