Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
