the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The feeling are messing with the penis
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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