i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
