last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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