fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
