It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I forgot wine drunk hurts
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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