I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
