90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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