He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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