Already got asked if we're dating
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
