honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
