I heard we made out
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I could fuck to npr.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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