I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He passed out mid-signature
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize