Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
