In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
