I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
