But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
false alarm, still single
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
