I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
