so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
