she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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