Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
