She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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