He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's never too late to be topless.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
