The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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