YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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