So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize