i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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